Could somebody please look!

Do I have F*CK ME written on my forehead anywhere?

No, no, look closer, it HAS to be there.

Because everywhere we went on Saturday, proves it.

Please continue reading. It is VERY LONG!

On Thursday, Hubby and I decided to take Saturday off and go up to Prescott for a nice romantic getaway.

I got online and reserved a room at the Best Western “Prescottonian”. King Bed – Non Smoking room, free full breakfast. Awesome, we are all set.

We got up Saturday morning and since we couldn’t check in until after 2pm we decided to head on over to see my nieces’ soccer games. That was the end of our fun.

We headed out of town to LOTS of traffic. No problem we had all weekend. Right?

We finally get to Prescott with anticipation of having a nice room, then a nice dinner and some gambling at “Bucky’s Casino”.

We check into the hotel and when I walked into our room and there was this overpowering stale smoke smell that just about knocked me off my feet. Hubby walked in after me and first words, “What the F*CK? Didn’t you get a non-smoking room?”

Hubby and I have been non-smokers for the past 8 years. But even when we did smoke, the smells from a dirty ashtray use to get to us. That is EXACTLY what this room smelled like. A Dirty Ashtray!

I immediately called the front desk.

Desk: Hello front desk.
Me: This is room #102. We requested a non-smoking room and this one is definitely a smoking room. There is a VERY strong smoke smell in here. Could you move us to a non-smoking room, please?
Desk: Well, I am sorry we are full there are no rooms available. (the parking lot is empty)
Me: But we requested a non-smoking room.
Desk: Did you do it on the internet?
Me: As a matter of fact I did.
Desk: Then you don’t necessarily get what you asked for?
Me: Excuse me?
Desk: The internet doesn’t mean you will automatically get a non-smoking room.
Me: Okay? (Why was I given a choice of a smoking or non-smoking then, bitch) (I relay this to Hubby)
Me: Then I guess we will be over to check out. (The smell was THAT BAD)
Desk: We will still have to charge your card. The city is completely booked.
Me: EXCUSE ME? (I again relay this to Hubby, who is starting to boil)
Desk: Your card will still be charged.
Me: Then what are YOU going to do about this smell?
Desk: We will send housekeeping over with some air freshener. (Like that is going to work)
Me: I guess we will try it.

Housekeeping shows up and says she will “IONIZE” the room but that we can’t be in it while the machine is on and that it will take an hour. Cool we will go eat and go gamble a bit.

Off we go to Applebee’s. OH MY GOD! Please, look again it has to be there, the “F*CK me" on my forehead ” The wait was about 15 mins, when there were empty tables all over. Once we sat it was another 10 mins before anyone acknowledged that we were even there. Our waitress finally took our order and it was at least 20 mins before our appetizer was brought to us. Meanwhile our drinks were empty. And we waited and waited. Finally drinks were refilled and dinner arrived about 45 minutes after we sat down. The manager brought the dinner and his comment was “Sorry, how bout a free dessert?” No, thank you we don’t eat dessert. (diet and all) “Want me to take off your appetizer?” Hubby said, “Don’t go out of your way!” Hubby was pissed. We eat, sit for another 10 mins. No bill! No Waitress! Hubby finally grabs the waitress to get out bill. We pay, we leave. (Appetizer was still on the bill by the way)

We head to the casino to try out luck. Okay stop laughing, we thought it couldn’t get any worse. WRONG! Even the slot machines see "F*CK me" on my forehead! We were in the casino all of 20 mins or so and lost $120 so we were out of there.

Oh goodie back to the hotel.

We walk into the room and it now smells like a dirty ashtray with air freshener in it.
We decide to try to get use to it.

I am laying on one of our two BEDS! Yes! We didn’t even get a King room but two (I think they were queen) beds. Now Hubby and I are not small people. Hubby is 6’4” and is weighing about 300 right now. I am 5’ 8” and I weigh … Nope I am not going to tell you. We have to have a KING bed. Anyway, I am laying on one of the beds watching “Airplane”. Hubby decides to come lay on my bed with me. It is after all suppose to be a “romantic weekend”. He lays down and BAM! No, not me! The damn bed breaks. NO, I AM SERIOUS! The one side of the bed sinks to the floor. The frame is broken.

The smell is still awful and we are NOT getting use to it and now we would be forced to sleep in one small bed. It isn’t going to happen.

Off I go to the office to check out.
Me: I want to check out of room #102.
Desk: “NOW?”
Me: “Yes, NOW”.
Desk: We will still have to charge your card.
Me: Do what you have to, but I will be taking it up with MasterCard and YOUR corporate office when I get home. We reserved a KING Non-Smoking room and you put us in a SMOKING ROOM with two beds, ONE of which is broken.
May I have my receipt please?
Desk: We can not give you a receipt until 12 midnight. We will have to mail it of fax it to you.
ME: Excuse Me? I need something to prove I checked out 3 hours after I checked in.

She then writes on a pink “While You Were Out” slip that room #201 checked out at 6:20pm on 4-16-05, and she initialed it and hands it to me. I handed it back and asked for a confirmation number. She grabs the paper and writes a number on it and hands it back. I walk out to the waiting get-away car that Hubby had packed with our stuff.

After a few minutes on the road, I think to check the confirmation number on the pink slip she gave me with the one I got from my online reservation. NOT THE SAME Number. Then I notice that she put room #201 and we were in room #102. Shows what incompetent people they have working their desk.

I got home and immediately called MasterCard. The charge for the room has to show up on my online statement before I can dispute it. (which it hadn't yet) But I made damn sure the guy left a note in my file noting the time I called.

I called Best Western this morning and gave them an earful. They were very nice and said they will send the complaint to the main office and also to the hotel in Prescott. The Prescottonian has 7 days to reply.

So there you have it. My great romantic adventure.

Once home and after the phone calls it did turn out to be quite a romantic evening.